We went to Vancouver and all we got was a spork.

Seriously. Well before I explain, I better explain that my roommate Bridgette actually does have a real job working as a nurse in a neuro ICU and so often has days off, that's why she's on these adventures with me. I'm on 'em because as you'll remember, I don't have a job. So anyway, we drove up to Vancouver this morning to bask in the warm glow of Olympic light. After a quick border crossing with a surly guard (why does your car have arizona plates if you say you're from seattle? well canadian friend, the 'united' part of usa means we can kind of drive around down there with reckless abandon/don't worry about it.) we were on to Vancouver, home of the 2010 Winter Olympics! I haven't been to a games since 2002 when I was a cute-as-a-button volunteer. I was anxious to once again feel that excitement of a global event, drop in my Irish buddies at the Irish House, and maybe spot some dish delish Norwegians headed up to watch the biathlon. Unfortunately, apparently the Olympics are somewhere else. Vancouver, BC right? Like the one on the left side of Canada? Maybe? Anyone? Guess not. For real.We couldn't find anything to see or do or see or do. Here's a line for 45 minutes to get into the store to buy stuff that says "Canada" on it. We also spotted a 7 hour line to look at the medals housed in the Royal Canadian Mint, and an hourish long line to get into a museum hosting these events.But let's be honest, a Sasquatch Prom AND Sophisticated Cavemen! That'd totally be worth it! So after two hours and a decision to not spork over $80 to see Switzerland fight Belarus in hockey, we jetted out of town to visit Squishee. I mean Squamish. Squishee is on the Sea to Sky highway that runs along the BC coast up to Whistler and is super popular with climbers. I know about it since my friend Matt climbs at Squishee all the time. Here we saw some Olympics! We don't have a tv per se so these were the first bits of Oly action I got to see . . . including those hot argyle pants the Norwegian curling team is sporting. Hi-ya Norge! Oh but seriously, the only souvenir we could find was this spork. Really.Well, a spork, and some postcards at the duty free shop at the border (couldn't find 'em in Undercouver) and well, a square of paper with some duty free Acqua di Gio spritzed on it (best cologne ever, thanks canada!). However, BC stands for Beautiful Country so although the Olympics weren't there, the visual bang for the buck definitely was.

Nice N' Icy

This morning Bridgette (who had never been XC skiing before) and I (who has been going once every five years for the past twenty-two years) drove up past Snoqualmie Summit to dig into the last of the winter puffy fluff, which by this point has turned into crusty dangerous icy daggers of awesome. We strapped on the boots (oh so comfy! take note alpine boot makers!) and skis and climbed for over two hours up to the top of a big big hill on icy snowmobiling and utility roads. Here I am at the summit that we called the summit because the real summit looked like it was yet another hour up the road.After a power lunch of FiberOne bars and water, it was time to treacherously descend the steep road of icy death and danger at every turn by any means necessary. A bit later, Bridgette stumbled across the actual cross-country skiing trails that I had googled earlier that morning and so we ended the afternoon with an hour or so of tracking in real tracks. Bridgette is wicked quick on skis despite being from Arizona. Fortunately as my pride has been completely smacked out of me by years of science, I happily took the back track which gave me time to er, contemplate the beauty of nature. Yes, that's why I was so far back . . . busy taking pictures.

Orienteering and Tidepooling

This morning I went to the last orienteering meet of the season down at appropriately named Dash Point State Park. We went with course 5 that had 13 controls over about 2.2 or so miles. So pretty quick race . . . unless you're not running and just sort of quasi-jogging and meandering. At any rate, we ran quick enough since I finally beat Jonny Bingham with no asterisks after the win. It feels good. I'd like to thank control #5. After that, it was on to tidepooling as Whitney had never seen a starfish in the wild. As we have a big giant puddle of water next to us that's just full of 'em, it made sense to pull the trigger on this one. Lesson learned from the beach, there's a lot of dead stuff down there. I mean, this is one I already knew from a tender age when I accidentally stepped on a washed-up squishee jellyfish but it was running rampant this afternoon. Lot's of dead crabs, dead starfish (that we saved! and brought back from certain deathiness!), and an octopus with it's head eaten off by seagulls (too late to save!). So friends, let's remember that sometimes when life seems hard, let's just be glad that we're not invertebrates. Those that are spineless become gutless pretty quickly.

Dites moi pour quoi la vie est belle.

This afternoon Emily and her mom invited me to see South Pacific at the 5th Avenue Theater. As it was a matinee, it was definitely an AARP convention so I felt right at home and ready to swap "remember that episode of Matlock" stories with any neighbor. Walking into the theater, I found that the interior outpaced the famous Washoe Theater in Anaconda, MT (no comparison!). There was a giant red dragon holding a central chandelier in it's teeth. Well, on to the show. No surprises there as I've seen the movie but as an 11-year-old, I figured that Joe Cable and Liat had actually fallen in love super quickly. As a 28-year-old, obviously not the case. But the singing was pretty spectacular and any actor that can make a 46-year-old man with a French accent appealing to an audience member that favors tall Norwegian men that can break logs in half with their bare hands is a good actor. Seven cheers to a great cast, they were fantastic. And thanks Emily and Brenda!!!

The Gold Digger's Valentine

After attending a seminar last week on the bleakness of the academia job market (basically, after working for less than minimum wage for 10+ years, if you're the 'lucky' one in 3 x 10^3, you might be able to get a job that chains you to a life of 80+ hour work weeks for slightly above minimum wage and don't even think about having any sort of life beyond . . . this isn't an exaggeration my dears, this is reality) I decided that perhaps I should re-focus my efforts on plan B . . . B for "bling" not "bedazzled" which means, "Plan B: Marry for Money". I'm not really sure people can do that anymore, it seems like it happened all the time a hundred years ago, but I'm not sure trust fund children hang out at the Safeway trying to decide whether they should splurge that week on name brand tortillas or go for the generic "El Sketchy" ones that are a buck cheaper. At any rate, I decided that nothing would be better for Valentine's Day this year than watching "The Gold Rush" with Charlie Chaplin while snacking on Moose Tracks and Caramel Caribou ice cream with friends. (We were going to make Baked Alaska with snowy peaks of meringue hiding the chocolate and caramel streaked pay dirt, but after my week of baking, the thought of turning on the oven turned my stomach.) This was particularly apropos as Bridgette and I had read up on the Klondike by visiting the National Park Unit here in Seattle. Okay, I saw this in my film history class in high school but I forgot how incredibly hilarious it was. That Chaplin was genius. We also picked up some few pointers from Georgia, the heroine of the story, on how to marry a multi-millionaire. Apparently, it's all in the over-the-shoulder "I'll see you later" glance as you exit a room. I'm gonna need some practice on that one but Megan has it down. Definitely innate talent. Dirk Nowitzki is not married Megan. It might be time to use your newfound charms and move to Dallas. Too bad the Sonics left town, otherwise you could have just stayed here and waited for the Mavs to come to you.

Baker's Dozen!

After this week, I'll definitely be ready to match the other moms at future PTA meetings. It all started with a cake baking party early in the week with a few extra decorations to make it super fun for the Chemistry PhD birthday boy. Nothing says "YEr FUN'" better than signs made from the periodic table. Then later, so I know that I swore I'd never attend the SweetMeet again (see the swearing here) but as I sat in Institute class earlier this week, I started to feel a little bratty and sheepish for my stance. And when I heard that one of my friends wanted to go but didn't have time to make a dessert, that sealed the deal. She loves to play basketball so I went with a double layer chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream with everything from scratch.As for my cake, I went with a camping theme and made a s'mores cake. That's right, rich chocolate layers and a graham cracker/legit toasted marshmallow filling. Here's the toasted marshmallows just coming out of the oven.And here's the layers all together.
And here's the finished camping project. Then, on Friday just before the event, I heard from another one of my friends who also wanted to go but also didn't have time to make a cake. Why not! Of course! So for hers, a cherry chocolate almond cake was definitely the way to go and I love love how it turned out.As for the SweetMeet itself, I did win a $6 gift certificate to Baskin Robbins provided I agree to take a date to it (snickering and laughing, er, any bets on those coupons still being in my purse in 2013?). But just about the time I thought I might be done with baking, I remembered that I was partially in charge of a little munch and mingle for our ward after church on Sunday. Bring on the valentine's cupcakes! For these, I defaulted to a box mix because I couldn't bring myself to start from scratch again. But the frosting is real, with almond, of course. And sprinkles on top.Okay. Now I'm done baking. For a looooooonnnnnnnnnngggg time. A very long time. And I'm passing the torch on to you all. Here's a super delightful, perfect, easy chocolate cake recipe courtesy of my quasi-idol, the Martha Stewart empire. The frosting recipe below is spot on and is courtesy of my super-idol, my sister Lisa.

Chocolate Cake in scientific notation.

.75 c unsweetened cocoa powder (plus more for pan)
1.5 c all-purpose flour
1.5 c sugar
1.5 tsp. baking soda
.75 tsp. baking powder
.75 tsp. salt

2 large eggs slightly beaten
.75 c warm water
.5 c milk
.25 c sour cream
.33 c unsalted butter (melted)
.75 tsp. pure vanilla extract (or ALMOND, yum!)

Prep for some great cakes by preheating your oven to 350F. Grab a pan (I used two 8" round but a 9 x 13 works too) and butter it up. Place parchment in the bottom and butter that surface then dust the whole thing in cocoa. Then, mix all the dry stuff together and set aside. Mix all the liquid stuff together and then add in the dry stuff while mixing. Give it a good whisk at the end to make it smooth and then pour the batter into the pan(s). Bake 'em for about 30 minutes or longer until a tester comes out clean. Let the cake cool then invert the cake onto a rack and let cool. Head into phase two, frosting.

Frosting Heaven

.5 c butter
.125 (1/8 yeah) tsp. salt
1 lb powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract (or ALMOND yum!!)
3 Tbsp. milk

Cream the softened butter until smooth and whipped. Add half of the sugar gradually and cream together. Add the salt, vanilla (or ALMOND yum!!), and remaining sugar, alternating with the milk.

Basically at this point, I put a thin crumb coat of frosting on the bottom layer of cake, add any fillings (cherry pie filling keeps everything delish and moist, the s'mores cake could probably use a whipped topping/pudding filling along with the graham and toasty mallow) and then place the second layer on top. Crumb coat with frosting the whole thing and pop in the freezer for a bit while you make decorations for the top, eat a snack, or check your email. Then pull the creation back out and frost the whole thing. Perfect. Thanks Lisa!!!

Oh there's gold in those hills, but you can't have any.

When I say that Seattle is the grandest old town on earth, I really mean it. The National Park Service has a Klondike Museum here on 2nd and Jackson. And it's free! Which is much less than what those old stampeders back in '97 spent when they got here. This afternoon Bridgette and I went downtown to check it out. After being cheerfully greeted by some friendly park rangers at the front desk (yes Dad, it's true! a nice parkie!) we marched through the exhibit. I don't want to spoil all the surprises since those of you in the area should definitely see this place for yourself but I'll give a history lesson at the end of the post for those who are interested. Some of the things we learned is to 1) Not trust showy champagne salesmen from Quebec. And 2) Though none of us thought that Jack London made the Klondike sound like a week in Aruba, reality was worse than fiction. This is sourdoughers climbing Chilkoot Pass or "The Golden Staircase of Outer Darkness". Not sure if those last two words were part of the official name but probably were.After the museum, we decided to stop at the Seattle Library downtown on 4th and Marion since it's a sight to behold. Here's the type of books you can find. And also practical stuff, these books are all about helping. It was a great little field trip. Okay, optional history lesson: Back in 1896 Skookum Jim and two friends were on Rabbit Creek (a tributary of the Klondike River) when they hit paydirt, literally, obviously. News spread rapidly down the west coast and across the country of "Gold! Gold! Gold! Gold! Stacks of Yellow Metal!". Seeing as how the country was in a severe depression, many left their homes and took of to Seattle which was marketing itself as the Gateway to Said Gold. Seattle mined the miners for piles of cash as the Canadians were sick of rescuing stupid Americans and required all travelers to carry supplies for a year with them. That meant about 1 ton including 300 pounds of bacon but only two shirts. I can admire people that value bacon over shirts. I think we would have gotten along. Anyway, after getting outfitted in Seattle, they took the Inner Passage up to Skagway or Deah (?) which were only about three miles apart. You unloaded your 2000 pounds of swag and then chose one of two trails. Both were only about 25 miles and led to the same series of lakes. Option 1 was called Dead Horse Trail and went over White Pass. The perk was that the elevation of the pass was lower but the trail was not a misnomer. Jack London described livestock falling off cliffs and trails and hearing the bones cracking as their backs wrapped around trees and snapped. Men would drive the horses to death through the punishing mud and then return to the beach for more. Option 2 was up to Chilkoot Pass which was an easier trail overall but had a tortuous 30 degree incline staircase carved from ice. It was rare for men to be able to make more than one trip a day. So men would take 50 lb. packs up the staircase over 40 times to get their supplies to the summit. Over either trail, you didn't make one trip, you made bajillions. Back and forth and back and forth to get your goods to the lake. Then, once you got to the lake, it was time to build a boat. Your own boat. Most of these obviously leaked etc. and when spring came, it was time for two sets of dangerous rapids on your homemade boat, carrying all those supplies. Many had to dock every night, unload supplies, dry out the boat, and start again the next day. At this point of the exhibit/movie, I told Bridgette "and then, you had to face DRAGONS!!!". After the dragons (which were cut from the film for length) the stampeders finally made it to Dawson. Where they were promptly told that there were no claims available. The end. Here's a picture of me spinning the wheel of fortune. I didn't win. But no one else did either. Only 300 out of every100,000 actually made any significant amount of money, and only about 50 of those would not die broke. The end.