Things I've learned in graduate school.

Perhaps this should wait until I finish but I'm doing this now. I am supremely confident that my head is full so I can't possibly learn more than I already have. That being said, what's the point of waiting. Oh, and when I say it is full, I am in no way implying that there's a lot in there. I'm just saying it's full. Let's see . . . oh, this list is edited for content. And when I say edited, I mean I took out all of the horrible things I've learned. And when I say horrible, I mean the insufferable, odious, and loathsome things I've endured, not the wild and wicked. I've been in lab for almost six years, I've had no chance to become wayward.

• The 65 bus will not stop for you. Running, pounding, and yelling will not help.
• It only takes 30 minutes to walk from Campus Parkway to my house.
• It only takes 45 mintues to walk from my lab to Campus Parkway. (The 70 will not stop for you either.)
  
• Cuban sandwiches from Paseo are slices of paradise.
• "Misting heavily" and "torrential sprinkles" are both perfectly acceptable forms of precipitation.
• If it's cold, wear a jacket. If it's really really cold, wear two jackets. Coats are not acceptable forms of Seattle fashion.
• Never visit IKEA on a Saturday. Ever. Tuesday's at 9:13 PM is your best bet.
• The water in Lake Union is dirty and cold. Very cold. Especially at 7 AM in January.
• The water in Lake Washington is delightfully warm. Especially at 7 PM in July.
• If you can't find an orienteering control point, it's because you're lost. They didn't forget, they didn't misplace it, it wasn't stolen, you're lost.
  
• Your best bet for winning first place in a Street Scramble is to show up in your jammies, half-walk, half-run, and just be smarter than the rest of the competition.
• I would like to own 40 acres outside beautiful Moses Lake.
• If you have to work every day, make sure that the co-worker sitting closest to you is a lot of fun.
• 2 for 1 day at Scarecrow Video is Wednesdays.
• If there is a Thai restaurant every half-block or so, you're not in Thailand my friends, you're in Seattle.
• UW football is bad. Really bad. Have they ever been good? Thought not.
• Men in Seattle have no excuse for not buying their girlfriends flowers.
• The best donuts in the world are sold by a nasty hairy man at the market. Really, he's kinda gross. So, sometimes just go to TopPot instead.
• I'm actually pretty good at foosball.
• I hate rats. I hate them. I hate them so, so much.
• I hate maggots. More than rats. And that's saying something.
• The lights at the Hutch automatically turn off at 8:04 PM, 1:13 AM, and 4:26 AM.
• Longboarding at Alki is fun.
• No need to merge early, just ride the Seneca lane and squeak in at the end. That's what it's there for.
• Google maps is the best. True that. Double true.
• The GEICO commercial with squirrels plotting to run in front of cars to make them crash is not computer generated. That's actual footage folks. The little devils.
  
• A walk around Greenlake with friends is the cheapest form of therapy.
  
• If a friend asks you to go see a new band, you should probably go. I could have seen DCFC for about $5. Then again, I've also been saved from seeing a lot of boring bands. So, maybe I haven't learned anything after all about this one.
• Museums in Seattle are free on the first Thursday of the month.
• In relation to the previous one, I've learned this: Paul Allen is weird.
• Don't trust sweet-talking men from Oklahoma.
• Parades can take place on the water! Clowns will throw candy to you from jet skis!